Dawn Porter: The Polygamist's Wife  

Lately my weekly routine includes watching the latest Season 6 of Desperate Housewives every Monday just after the America transmission (Britain does not air it until December/January), followed by The Amazing Race of the latest season.

Dispersed in between my week would be occasional hop onto Channel 4.com for some documentaries. Lately they have got a few awesome documentary shows, those that pertaining to matters about race and racism , human psychology and explorations.

But just about early October I discovered Dawn Porter:Extreme Wife and I ended up watching all her three episodes (Episode 2-4) on the 4 on Demand freeview.

"I'm Dawn Porter. And for the last four years I've been single. It's not that I don't want a relationship. I do. But, before I take the plunge, I plan to experience some of the most extreme ways women find love and live with men" is the cue to the Extreme Wife.

The episode that ticks me the most was The Polygamist's Wife, where she travelled to the deserts of Arizona, USA to meet with families who have been practicing polygamy, secluded from the outside America world of which polygamy is outlawed, and one could be charged for committing felony for doing so.

They are Christians and Americans in every sense, living in a community having a population of 1200. And holds a different view of polygamy from possibly the rest of the American population and Dawn Porter herself.

(Which was really annoying because she has been exhibiting her personal view and injecting it into the viewers with the thought that polygamy is a twisted way of life and that the word 'polygamy' itself seems obscene, possibly thinking that every viewer shares the same view as hers).

Her first encounter in Arizona was meeting a group of women practicing polygamy. They expressed their views that people "out there" have been seeing them as though they are "the victim and a hopeless,stupid creature who have been brainwashed into any of these practices".
"How dare you judge us!" a woman in the group exclaimed.

One woman made a point about the wholesomeness of a big family, more people to love and it gives a better environment for the children. But what was important was that, in the American community where adultery is rampant and divorces almost always occur as a by-product of discovered adulterous acts, they claimed that the people "out there" failed to see polygamy as a way out to solve the problem.

"There are so many ways to grasp on a sexual desire than to take a family or children" said the younger woman of the group. So if the men are seen to take on two or three wives at the same time, loved them dearly, and stay committed to it are looked down upon, why is it that serial monogamy (i.e the marry -> divorce -> marry somebody else because-I'm-sick-of-you pattern) which happens terribly rampant nowadays is not looked down upon? Or equally worse, the same-sex marriage is already accepted in some parts of the world, including America?

When she questioned a man who practiced polygamy, if he is going to be unfaithful to his wife, should he practice monogamy, it came with a "i probably would". Therefore the polygamy, on their views, was a way to solve the problem, and any problems that come with it (eg jealousy, demands on the husband) is only minute.

Despite those reasons, those polygamous community viewed their culture and practice in a divine way, as being closer to God and it promises the women a Goddess title in heaven.

In Malaysia, the connotation of polygamy is such that it will always come with Malay women brazenly jumping up to defend their so-called rights. In the Malay newspaper it is frequently mentioned. (Muslim laws allow men to marry up to four women at a time). Polygamy is always being subjected to negative views in Malaysia, no different than America or the rest of the world.

Go and watch it yourself! Not sure whether it can only be viewed in Britain or worldwide, though... As for now it's free on 4 on Demand on Channel 4's website. Feel free to leave comments here if you've watched it. Below is just a short clip from the show.

Well, don't get me wrong. I wish not to be in a polygamous marriage myself (I know that it's not happening because my other half loved me so dearly hee hee :D ) , but I do not ever object it.

What do you think of the polygamous community in the show? In the Western world particularly, do you think that you also hold the view that polyamory, serial monogamy, or serial relationship is also more acceptable than polygamy? If you are a Malaysian (or Muslims particularly), what makes you think many women are worked up about polygamy almost to the point that sometimes they fervently deny that this is the right granted by Allah? Is it due to personal experience or the negative images portrayed of polygamous men?

30th October 2009

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nurinkhairi: I was riding a taxi of whom the taxi driver was a Chinese. He was telling me of his search for a religion best for him. In the end he said, "Plus point of converting to Islam is that, because I want to get married to more than one woman". LoL!
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