I was offered to attend that training by my boss in Sept just as soon as I just came back from maternity leave, but I turned it down. I can't deny that it kinda feels terkilan for not accepting the offer but I am limited because of my baby. Among a few other reasons, one of which was because I was unsure if she can cope a 24-hour flight journey when she is still so small.
Another, since somebody must accompany me (most probably my mum, since there would be no way Hubby can get a 2 weeks leave on a rather short notice), unless I have lotsa cash to spend on another business class ticket for Mum which I don't, I had to be sitted on an economy class, which may be inconvenient when I have a baby to bring. Weighing all the possibilities, I just had to turn it down.
Was I wrong for feeling a slight bit of terkilan? I hope not.
I discovered, being a mother, you have to sacrifice for a lot of things for your child/children. That is strange because that doesn't seem like me. But for the love for my child, I would go for extra lengths. Problem is, when other people don't get it. Let me tell you..
- I would be one of the earlier ones to have gotten out of office. In corporate world, "early" means leaving the office at anytime between 5-7 pm. Early this week our colleagues wanted to go out for a "happy-hour" session after work but I had to decline, saying that I need to go home. "Kesian my mum (who takes care of little Aisyah) ", I would say. I could sense my colleagues disappointment. And I don't know for how long I had to decline invitations....
- My friends invited me for dinner at Jusco on one weekday night. It was supposed to be after the Maghrib prayer, of which I gladly accepted the invitation. However the makan started quite late, up until 9 pm, after which I had to then say I couldn't attend. Baby Aisyah usually sleeps at 10 pm and she will throw tantrum is she is not cuddled to sleep at the time that she would. One of my besties' response, I felt quite 'terasa'. I think she said something along the line of "biar la dia taknak datang pun". I know she was joking but I couldn't help feeling terasa.
Footnote: The other reason why I turned down the training offer was I am definite that I will be sent to US next year! When little Aisyah is bigger and stronger. So, no regrets! :D